And she was returned to us after surgery, seemingly content and happy.
It's hard to imagine it has been 2 years since she had surgery. Since surgery we have been on the all day everyday patching plan. Generally we aim to have her patch on as much as possible, everyday, and usually that means she's getting about an hour without her patch a day. It has been 2 years of us parenting a child that wears a patch.
When a surgeon sits down with you before the surgery date is set, and he or she says to you - surgery is difficult but it's after surgery with the patching that is the hard part - they couldn't be more right. Surgery was hard, and felt devastating at the time, but there was an end to the surgery, she was returned to us, and it was over. Patching - it's never over.
Patching is a struggle and presence in our life everyday. As M gets older she is starting to realize it sucks to have to wear a patch. She realizes how much she can't see when she has to wear her patch and she has become very good at verbalizing her annoyances with it. She has come up with some masterful ways in which to convince you that you need to take her contact out and therefore have to take her patch off... She knows all the contact and patching language, and has become quite accustomed to the 5-6 week check ups at the hospital.
She has worn her patch everywhere. We insist she wears her patch everyday. I find it easier to just keep her wearing her patch as much as possible, with little exceptions as possible, so she knows its a part of her life everyday all day, almost regardless of what we are doing.
She learned to crawl and walk with her patch.
She learned to drive a tractor.
Taught everyone we saw all about patches and cataracts.
Learned to play in water and swim (without losing a contact or patch!).
Went on vacations at beaches (yes that's a beach of sand - worst nightmare mixing children with contacts and sand!).
Drive crazy shopping carts with her brother.
In two years she has learned a lot and done a lot, and she has managed to do it all with a patch. She knows she wears a patch, and she knows why, she also knows that she is the only person she knows that wears one. She knows she looks a little different from her friends now, and she knows that when she wears her patch she can't see very much at all. She knows she misses lots in the world around her because she can't see, but she has learned to fake it! She knows that sand and dirt make her contact hurt her, and she has learned that getting squirted with orange in her contact eye really hurts her too.
I know that in the future she will know and understand that we did all this surgery, and subsequent patching for her, and the possibility of the best possible vision outcome in that eye. In the end, it'll be worth it, all this hard work, all the fights and struggles, and all the times she notices she's a little different. In the end we will be able to say we did the best we could, and she did the best she could, and we can deal with whatever comes after that.
